For the past couple of weeks I have been thinking a great deal about the subject of marriage. I have been speaking the last few weeks on topics submitted by people who attend LifeQuest. One of the most common topics requested was marriage. It seems like so many couples are struggling in their relationships. This week my blog will be sharing some thoughts and ideas about marriage and how to get the most out of your relationship.
God has blessed me so much with my wife. Alana is such a great partner and supporter. She has been my biggest fan and has helped me to develop the areas of my life that God knew I could never manage on my own. Alana is an amazing woman. She does so much and gives of herself constantly. I am so proud to call her my wife.
One of the lessons I have learned about marriage and relationships has been a very simple one. The first principle I want to share with you is this: make your spouse the only one you want.
It is really a simple lesson, but in our culture it is a lost art to only desire one person to occupy the most intimate places of your life. We live in a disposable society. If you don’t like your marriage, dispose of it. If your spouse doesn’t satisfy you, get a new one. We have made relationships transactions instead of investments.
To help remind me of how much I want to be with Alana, the song “I Only Wanna Be With You” is her ringtone on my phone. Now my marriage is not held together by Hootie and the Blowfish. It is held together by a choice to make sure that our relationship is a priority and that no other person gets a place of intimacy in our hearts. The song is simply a declared truth that I only want to spend my life with Alana. Alana has a ringtone on her phone set just for me. Whenever Kimberly hears it go off in the car, Alana tells me she laughs and says in a very sweet voice, “It’s your hubby!!”
If you are going to get the most from your marriage, you must make the choice that your spouse is going to be the only one to get a place in your heart. Love is a choice. Commitment is a choice. If you want your marriage to be dynamic, passionate, and full of life, you have to make the choice that your spouse is going to be the one you want to be with. You have to make the choice that your heart is set aside for that person only.
I encourage each of you to find your “song” for each other and let it become the soundtrack of your marriage.