Hypocrite

I have come to realize in some areas of my life that I am a hypocrite. I know this is a terrible admission, but I think at some level everyone lives with a certain disconnect between what we really believe and what we always do. Sometimes it is in major areas such as integrity or commitments. That is not what I am talking about. Before you jump to any more conclusions, let me explain.

I tend to teach and preach discipline and focus to my children. I get onto them about grades, their messy rooms, watching too much television, etc. I am not overly harsh (at least I don’t think so) but I do try to push them to a higher level than I was willing to achieve when I was their age. They are smart, talented, and beautiful. I want them to be their absolute best.

Occasionally I look in a mirror. I try to avoid them when possible. The mirror I am talking about is not the one that shows an outer reflection, but the one that examines the inner heart. It is the mirror that only we can see. When I look there, I see that some things in my life are not what they should be for someone who talks a good game.

What I have come to realize in my own heart is that I have a long way to go to be the man God intends me to become. I am often lazy in my habits of time with God. I sometimes draw the conclusion that if I am in my church office, I must be doing things of God. Wrong!!! I often speak and write about loving others, but there are some people God has placed in my life that I can’t stand. I need to be able to control my appetites better (less cookies more carrots!!!) but that doesn’t always happen.

I know I am a work I progress. Some people just call me a piece of work!! But I have been asking God to show me the true reflection of who I am and how he wants to change me. It is scary, convicting, and powerful. But it is good.

My prayer is that each of us would look into our heart and do the hard work of the faith and not settle for less than God’s best for our lives.